I wish my head could forget the things my eyes have seen, my body has felt- PTSD | Every Chance

I wish my head could forget the things my eyes have seen, my body has felt- PTSD

Are you stuck in the grips of PTSD?

Reliving the things you most want to forget?

Are you haunted by the things that you want to forget? keeping you stuck where you don't want to be?

What Is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?​

Post traumatic disorder is a condition that affects people neurologically- causing massive emotional and mental distress.

PTSD can start after any traumatic event, it is a normal reaction to your life being in danger, a frightening event, or where you have or you have seen others injured.

If you have been through abuse, a violent assault such as rape, a physical attack, been mugged or tortured, a frightening experience, prisoner of war, miscarriage, a traumatic birth or had violent trauma or accident ​that has endangered your life.

For a long time it has only been recognised as men having PTSD, primarily war veterans, but is it not sensible to ever believe that women can and do have this deliberating mental illness that stops life in its tracks?!

As women, we suffer childhood abuse, birth trauma, miscarriages are subject to physical violence from men that we love and so much more.

How many women are walking around not even knowing that they have PTSD?

With 1 in 3 women being subjected to rape and sexual assault across the world, how many of these women are battling PTSD everyday in silence?

There is and never has been enough to support women in any shape or form when it comes to protecting their mental health.

Not to mention our service men are coming home and spending years upon years taking ridiculous amounts of medication, without an proper way to release the trauma. 

Women are now coming into the spot light and finally being recognised for having PTSD too, yet there is not enough being done to help these people without the prescription drugs or mind numbing- retriggering counselling and psychotherapy.

However, PTSD can occur at any age

How Do I know If I have PTSD?

Post traumatic stress disorder can strike straight after the event, or it can gradually creep up on you weeks or even months later, like a build up of massive stress and reliving the ordeal.

It is normal for people to go through the usual after affects of trauma, such as-

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Grief Stricken
  • Guilt
  • Anger

Although these are normal reactions, there are also many signs that go hand in hand with PTSD...

Crying, shaking, feeling sick, scared for your life and all alone.

Doing 'normal' things in your day and smelling, hearing, seeing, someone bumping into you, or a cashier brushing your hand, something that suddenly makes you feel like you are in a time warp, everything moving so fast and suddenly you are back there again.

Other things that PTSD can bring:​

  • Depression
  • High blood pressure
  • Irregular heartbeats
  • Muscular aches and pains
  • Headaches/migranes
  • Alcoholism
  • Drug dependancy- including prescription or painkillers
  • Can cause skin conditions or ulcers
  • Exhaustion
  • Avoiding the usual things that you normally do
  • Uncontrollable mood swings
  • Feeling emotionally numb
  • Scared and wanting to hide
  • Constantly trying to be busy to not think about it
  • Feeling on edge and snappy at everyone around you
  • Feeling suicidal

Do you feel the sensations on your skin, the noises in your ear, only this time you know the pain, you know the utterly loneliness of visiting that place over and over on a daily basis?

For so long we have been expected to sweep our experiences under the carpet - to forget about them and move on in life.

No one ever tells you that the triggers will come and get you, like an icy cold hand on your shoulder, making you turn back and step back into that moment.

We relive our triggers through 1 or more of our 5 senses- a picture, a sound, a smell, a touch or taste, something so simple can trigger that moment, a moment from that time you want to forget.

Can you relate to this?

Does your pain follow you around? Eating you up from the very core of you?

You see- once you understand how we hold the emotions in our body, in our energy system- because we are all made up of energy- it is scientifically proven!

Which you can read all about in my book- Understanding Me, Myself & I, a full comprehensive, science backed book of understanding you, how you are made up, why you feel the way you feel and why its is not your fault.

It affects your whole family.

Stress Can Trigger PTSD Years Later!!

This is due to the 'emotional box' within us- we stuff all of emotions into this, we suppress them, we hide them and lock them away, thinking that we are putting on a brave face, that no one can feel or see how we feel inside, but they can.

Not to the extent that you are feeling, but they can feel something is a miss, we all know when there is something not right with someone, its our intuition- our 6th sense, we feel peoples energy.

How can I deal with my PTSD?

There are many ways in which you can help reduce the symptoms of PTSD, although each are great, first a foremost would be emotional healing.  

There are many 'limited' ways in which the western approach to dealing with PTSD. Counselling, psychotherapy and CBT, which can give you some great tools, but do not remove the emotional and neurological imprints that have occurred from the trauma. 

The success rate for these therapies long term are next to none. When we talk about what we are going through, there is an immediate relief, but once we leave that room, we are left staring at this painful mess of words or memories that we have just retriggered and re embedded into us.

Anti depressants help short term, but are not a long term viable solution to relief, the more medication that is taken, the more medication that is needed to counteract the effects of the other medications.​

Guidelines from the National Institute For Health & Care Excellence (NICE) suggest that psychological therapies should be offered before medication- EDMR- Eye movement desensitisation & reprocessing therapy and CBT exercises.

EDMR is used in EFT (emotional freedom therapy) which enables the neurological patterns and events that have formed within the brain to be freed and reformed.

Energy alignment method and EFT is a combination which i use here at Everychance, it removes the emotions, the trauma, patterns and experiences from the brain, cells of the body and energy system. ​This is what changed my life, which you can read below.

It wasn't until I had to undergo a year long intensive emotional and energy healing therapy on myself before I was able to undertake the practitioner and mentor training that I have been able to deeply and truly became free, let go of that weighted bag, finally love myself for the first time in my life, save my marriage and become the mum I always wanted to be.

These are some great​ tools to use daily to help with all forms of stress, anxiety and PTSD, to help

  • Journalling
  • Meditating
  • Mindfulness
  • Yoga
  • Walking outside
  • Taking up a fitness hobby
  • Deep breathing
  • Acupuncture
  • Tai Chi
  • ​Music 
  • Reiki
  • Good plant based nutrition
  • Practising gratitude
  • Setting daily intentions
  • Learning energy medicine exercises
  • Emotional Freedom Technique- See the Tapping Solution

There are some really great articles on this website that can help you understand and deal with all stress related issues, anxiety, trauma and pain. Explanations on what is happening within your body and what it is all about.

Please feel free and download the first two chapters of my book for free, which gives you a clear understanding of you, why you feel the way you feel and why it is not your fault.​ Understanding Me, Myself & I- I know it will help you so much.

It is the bridge between the 'woo woo' that is energy and our emotions, the science behind all of it and best of all the signs that you are not functioning at the level you should be, the reasons why you are experiencing Pain, IBS, PTSD, Anxiety, Fibromyalgia, ME and so much more.

My Own Story Of PTSD

PTSD is a condition that had me in its grips for nearly 13 years in total, gave me severe IBS, night terrors, bad dreams, alcoholism and drug dependency.

When I lost my baby at 26 weeks pregnant, the counsellor in the hospital who specialised in pre birth lost told me:

"be grateful, I have just had one lady lose her 8th baby!" 

Yes, sad, but too be utterly honest I couldn't give a damn about that other lady at the time, I was in pieces myself and crying out for someone to understand and take my pain away.

For almost 9 years I felt the physical sensations of losing my baby, how it felt when he passed, the sounds of him falling into the toilet. The starkness of the bright white hospital lights, the sounds of the hospital.

I spent the night on the ward wide awake listening to the sound of the storm outside beating the windows, howling through the poorly fitted hospital windows, the rain beating on the glass.

The noise. I remember laying there, I visited that bed and relived every moment of that night in such detail, and still now I can bring that memory, although still very far away in my mind, it's a distant memory that I know too well, like an endless broken record playing. Excep now there is no pain, no PTSD. I am free.

My first encounter with PTSD was when I left home- waking up screaming and crying in the night- all the suppressed emotions and memories came chasing me in the night.

When I lost my first baby at 26 weeks pregnant, I recognised the tale tale signs of PTSD, They were so strong, they were painful, reliving the physical and emotional feelings, the sounds and smells of the hospital, they would get me at any moment, stop me in my tracks and turn me into a frozen shaking, nervous mess. 

The night terrors were horrible, but as time went on and the source of my terrors and emotions was far far away, I was able to throw myself into studying and fitness, a way of making myself feel good.

With the help of pills I was able to control the agitating depression and anxiety- labelled with manic depression and stuck with a community psychiatric nurse, passed from one counsellor to the next, gradually managing to control the symptoms, but drinking too much alcohol turned me into a gibbering crying mess, so I turned to drugs to help combat the pain and lift me- my happy day of partying and doing drug, was secretly my release from myself and the pain.

Even the fatal overdose didn't work as I had eaten a packet of my brothers Ritalin which stopped me going into a coma. There was no escaping the pain, I couldn't even die!

The PTSD became manageable as the years grew, my addiction to alcohol got me through the days, bulimia popping its head up every now and again as a way of making me feel better, a release.

Feeling utterly isolated, my heart was painful, my life bleak, I was miserable and it reflected into my new husband, my child and everything in my life.

One day I was invited along to an EFT (emotional freedom therapy) session where the women worked on the emotions and pain of what I was holding- she took me back to the young girl in the hospital bed and the pain I felt was more than I had ever known - I cried and I cried, more than i had ever cried before and afterwards, I was released, I was free. 

Finally I was free to live my life.

I was so amazed that I became an EFT practitioner, on a mission to save everyone! I stopped drinking and turned my life around

I then met PTSD again after giving birth to my second son, his birth was horrific and left me mentally reliving that again and again, not severally, but enough for me to cry in a moment and feel the guilt and shame of how I felt.

Although mild this time, with the energy medicine tools I had I was able to over come this and prepare for the birth of my daughter 2 years later.

What I didn't realise over the years, that even though I had released the pain and trauma of these events leading to my PTSD.

That it would have such a huge knock on effect in every area of my life- I was still carrying these emotions in my energy, in my cells, still feeling the hatred, shame, guilt and powerlessness of all of these life events.

​"I am not good enough- I do not deserve!"

This was my inner talk, my beliefs.

It affected my marriage, my confidence, my ability to handle my children, my whole life. I just wanted to disappear into the carpet every day single day, hating waking up to face another day of being me, being in my mind that was never still.

My door is always open, I am here to listen a​nd to help, I get it, truly I do, I have been there and have come through the other end, which I never thought was possible.

Drop me a line at [email protected], reach out to me, I am here to help you. Its now my personal mission.
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About the Author Jeani Howard

Jeani Howard is an intuitive healer and award winning therapist who specialises in Pre & Post Natal care and PTSD as well as childhood trauma & anxiety. Her desire is to help as many people as possible to feel better. Help her hit her 1 million!

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