The Problem With Parenting

No One Said It Would Be Easy

What You Can Do Now To Ease Day To Day Meltdowns!!​

You know, no one can blame you for feeling the way you do, the minny meltdown you have on occasion, wishing your name wasn't "muuuuuummmmmm" on those days when you can barely look after yourself and it all seems to too much, almost like your little darlings are sucking the life and soul out of you- as soon as your arse hits the chair they want something else!!

I know that feeling too well- 4 children under 8!! I still sit here on days wondering how the hell I have four children, but I am grateful, thankful that I am called mummy. It's just, well, so bloody hard sometime. The last two years have been spent in pure survival mode!!

​Just when you think you have cracked this thing called 'parenting', your sweet little angels throw another 'what the fuck grenade' into the equation and your back to square one, feeling like a failure again- "where have I gone wrong??"

Seriously, if only our little darlings came with a manual and off switch, life would be great, wouldn't it?

"Mary Poppins ain't got nothing on me!!​"

It's can be hard, the vision we have for us when we become excited about becoming parents, the well groomed, mild mannered, excellent role model that can juggle everything, turns up at the school gate looking impeccable, gets to meetings on time, everything organised and punctual with perfect children who grown into perfect adults- sadly when we become parents this illusion is often shattered against the pile of shit we have to face that no one actually tells us about.

super mum in cape

I have never wanted to be one of those loud screechy mother that you hear screaming after their children in the supermarket!! Goodness Help Me!!

Whatever It Is Now- It Too Shall Pass

So what can you do to make life easier for you??​ Trust me, I have been through all major upheavals on my journey in parenting, these are some of my pearls of wisdom that I learnt the hard way....

  • Discipline is key, without it you have no control, they will walk all over you at every opportunity
  • Mindfulness is a must- to be a calm parent even when your buttons are pushed to the max and all hell is breaking loose- this tool is a must!!
  • Being present- all our children ever want is our full attention for that moment that they want you- everything else can wait!
  • Take time for you- it really is true that to be the best to everyone around you, you MUST first take care of yourself
  • If you think you can't get out of the house with your make up- reorganise how you get ready- my mirror is perched on the kettle and the face goes on around breakfast, coffee making (in a travel mug) and packed lunches! It will make you feel wonderful!!
  • Take 5 for you- sit down with that cuppa, take 5, the kids will get used to you saying this is your 5 minutes mummy time before you crack on with tea!
  • Set the intention to have a bath- get the kids to bed, or sometimes like me I just have to have it around them, but they aren't allowed in- this ones for mummy! If you do get one alone- candles, always bubbles, some soft tunes....oh, I want a bath now!!
  • Journal- writing in a journal is a must for me- I don't do it it daily, well occasionally I do, but when I do, I just start off writing what's been happening- good stuff, bad stuff, how I am feeling etc, when you start it just flows
  • Make yourself a smoothie in the am, if nothing else it will set you up for the day and leave you feeling great
  • Invest in a baby carrier or backpack and wellies (we live in the country) and go walking, it will benefit you all
  • Daily intention setting is a vital daily requirement for me- what do you want to happen today- for you, for your kids?
  • Take up a hobby- find yourself, we loose ourselves when we have babies, reconnection is a must
  • Remember- as long as they are fed, clean, happy and loved- that's all that counts
  •  ​You Are Doing An Amazing Job!!

About the Author Jeani Howard

Jeani is an award winning therapist, healer, author and speaker. Jeani has on her own journey of healing overcome PTSD, clinical depression and agonising anxiety. A mother of 4 who suffered with birth trauma and pre and post natal depression, now prides herself on having worked with 1000's of adults, adolescents and women through pregnancy, labour and their transition into motherhood.

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