Pre Birth Loss

Losing a baby, under any circumstances and at any stage is probably one of the most harrowing times in a woman's life. It's empty, lonely and spirit crushing.

I recently was faced with a lady who had lost her baby at the same stage as me, 26 weeks, but unlike mine, her baby lived for 20 minutes before passing. For the first time ever I was at a loss for words, what could I possibly say? My own experience was bad enough, but I knew my son was gone, the scan had shown his heart had stopped beating, but if he had lived for a brief moment, I can't imagine. All I could do was send my love and healing.

This brought me back to my own experience and the support I received, seeing the counsellor who dealt with neonatal death told me that “ I was lucky, one lady she was seeing had lost her 8th baby, that was sad, but in no way did that help me, did it make me feel better, it's was sad, but I didn't care, it didn't make my pain any less.

I spent 13 years being so wrapped up in guilt and sadness at my loss, never having been able to let go of the heartbreak I was feeling, easily reliving every minute of those two days over and over again, so fresh in my mind.

The day I had my first EFT session was the day that blew me away and changed my life forever. As we tapped through the memories, the sensations I felt were incredible, the pain and sadness as she took me back was the worst I had ever felt in my whole life, and then it was gone.

I still remember, there is just no pain now. 17 years on I still feel a little sadness, but my life isn't engulfed by it in anyway. I have let the emotional aspect go so that I can move on in life and that was the best thing that I ever experienced, now I am a better mum to my other babies because I can love whole heartedly and freely without the emotional pain.

About the Author Jeani Howard

Jeani is an award winning therapist, healer, author and speaker. Jeani has on her own journey of healing overcome PTSD, clinical depression and agonising anxiety. A mother of 4 who suffered with birth trauma and pre and post natal depression, now prides herself on having worked with 1000's of adults, adolescents and women through pregnancy, labour and their transition into motherhood.

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