Living With Anxiety & Making It Work For You

Following an AMAZING interview this morning with Abby Kedwell who lives with Bipolar and anxiety, it really was such a powerful call that got my brain thinking......

There are so many people I meet in life who have the same reflection of mental health as I have had my whole life. It really is about making awareness of mental health and that it is.....

Okay To Not Be Ok

National statistics for the UK state that 1 in 4 of us suffer with some form of mental illness each year.

As women, this can be mind blowing, especially the impact that this has on those of us who are mothers, carers, wives. From my own experience of different forms of mental illness over the past 35 years, merely having to look after myself has been such a challange, but having to look after 4 young children and a husband has been almost impossible and looking back I wonder how I even survived!!

Anxiety and overwhelm can on days be so bad that it literally feels like it is eating you from the inside out. The black tar like smog of depression is just so damn heavy and all consuming that doing any 'normal' day to day tasks can be impossible most days.

But, we are here to tell you that you can get through this, you can overcome this and it is ok to not be ok.

You are human, we are all human and NO ONE is perfect and living the life of emotional perfection and perfect balance. 

Everyone has some form of negative inner belief system, experience or emotional disruption that they have to deal with at some point, almost certainly more than we know or that they let on.

Even after the intensive journey that I have been on, the tools that I have to release these feelings and the demons that I have had to face and release, I know there are still some days when I am like "ARGHHHH, I can not face this", I know I am not alone and I know that I can use this anxiety to lever me up to the next level.

So, How Can We Deal With This?

Woman Depressed. 

You can, you do have the power to control this, without it consuming you.

The number 1 thing to do, is to take time for you. So many of our problems can stem from not taking time for ourselves, to nurture and love and grow ourselves. 
Believe me, it took me a long to realize this and 2 massive operations to really cement to me how important that this time for me is. Even sitting with my journal, a coffee, or simply sitting with a cuppa and doing nothing, just being.

Using the anxiety that you have and projecting it into something that you love is an amazing way of controlling the thoughts and the feeling.

Not sure how to do this? Here are some amazing tools for dealing with mental health and anxiety....

1. Let people know that you are feeling shit. I don't mean go around moaning and telling everyone you see that your feeling bad, but literally those close to you. If you are feeling bad, tell them, let them know your not feeling yourself and you need a little more support or loving.
Husbands and loved ones can only help when they have an idea of how bad it is.

2. Stop punishing yourself! Remember, there is a reason why you are feeling the way that you do, a very good reason, backed up by science and can be fixed easily, I know this, I have done it. Come talk to me and I will show you the way.
Punishing yourself for the way you feel will not make you feel better, it will make you feel worse which in turn will reflect out of you and into everyone around you.

3. This too shall pass. If you think about everything in life being like the cycles of the moon and seasons, this is the same for experiences and emotions. This too shall pass, but you do need to put the work into yourself to reap the rewards.

4. Get yourself a fancy book, a journal and brain dump. Please don not be put off by the "I cant, I don't know what to write" mentality. Just start with how you are feeling in this moment, right now and once you flow, the words will flow.
However - you must be consistent!
Writing and brain dumping gets you into a place of emptying that emotional box, which in turn feels great for a while, but like anything, the more consistent you are, the more beneficial it will be.

5. When negative thoughts start to creep in and consume you - remember YOUR BRAIN CAN NOT HOLD TWO THOUGHTS AT ONCE!! So, change that thought to a gratitude, be in the space of gratitude for 20 seconds and see how that changes. 
Science has shown that if you hold a thought for 17 seconds or more, that you can overrule any other thought.

6. Distractions are great. There are some amazing tips and tools here. When we take ourselves away from the initial problem - the over thinking and the mind monkey, we can use this anxiety to really propel ourselves into something that we love. 
What about fitness, reading, writing, journaling, crafts, producing something that you love.

7. The most important thing that you can do is be there for you. Love and nurture yourself like you are you are your own best friend.

Self love

self love

What do you do? Come and let us know in our facebook group, it is private and supportive where we can love and nurture each other and know that it really is ok, to not be ok.

If you are desperate and have no where to turn, please know that you are not alone, reach out to me and I will do my very best to help you.

Till next time, Much love

Jeani. x

P.S, If you love this and know it will help someone, please share. 


About the Author Jeani Howard

Jeani is an award winning therapist, healer, author and speaker. Jeani has on her own journey of healing overcome PTSD, clinical depression and agonising anxiety. A mother of 4 who suffered with birth trauma and pre and post natal depression, now prides herself on having worked with 1000's of adults, adolescents and women through pregnancy, labour and their transition into motherhood.

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